from that little bit of hope.
Sunday, October 08, 2006 @10:24 PM
GR.
im kinda worked up/upset right now.
though my evening's been pretty good.
i just cant believe how everything can be one sided
if you want to make judgements, the least you could do is find out about the other side of the story
before insulting me
and spreading bad stuff about me alright.
you can be as angry as you want
i expected it.
as the job of a "boyfriend" you should side your girlfriend.
yes, okay. but the least you could do is find out what's going on on my side
then you want to side your girlfriend, by all means. go ahead.
this is just unjust and unnecessary.
it's bullshit if you want to make me the evil genius as though its been my plan to make everyone on this planet anti-aisyahs or something.
my friends have BRAINS and MINDS of their own to make their own judgement
we may share stories but we dont necessarily hold resentment for the same reasons.
and dont go around saying im being fake.
because in the first place i distanced myself because i was sick of pretending that it was alright.
i was sick of being treated as a know-nothing gundu- head.
i felt small.
constantly being talked down to
i even wish to repeat the time when i wasnt even invited to my own birthday celebration
that's the lowest point.
when everyone else is like "c'mon, its a celebration for you and naomi. how can you not come?"
well, if i had known about it, i wouldve come.
im sorry.
no kidding.
i guess this all wouldnt have happened if she & i werent in the same class.
we would have just drifted slowly and peacefully apart, harmlessly.
but now?
what? ive completely lost 2 friends.
you know what, even that i could live with
but dont you pass shit about me when you dont know anything.
i would never bitch about aisyah to someone who was close to her just to jeopardize her friendships.
im not that evil- incase you thought i was.
and well, if you want to ask her properly about why my work was "shitty or fucked up"
you'd probably find out that on at least 2 occasions, i was given assigned a specific task.
it was written down on paper
she said she'd go home and type it out in order then send it over for me to do the necessary work then id send my work to her to be compiled.
i asked for that typed out version of the information needed, and i got it late.
there was so much time for me to do it but instead, i waited just for that till the night before
no, not 7pm or something.
probably around 10pm.
and then i was told to submit it the next day.
yeah, thanks.
if you dont want shitty or fucked up work, then give me as much time as everyone else had.
you want to bitch about me, go ahead.
but find out facts first.
for my case,
yes i might be a bit harsh.
but i feel very small when i talk to aisyah.
the word would probably be
condescending.she's changed, and well, maybe i have to.
i dont know
but what i say is all in my blog
i dont go spreading shit about her.
i wouldnt do that.
she's been my friend for ages.
i wouldnt have the heart to even think of such a thing- no matter how much hostility there is.
i write it in my blog- because that's what blogs are for- airing your thoughts/opinions, whatever.
and im sorry if you find that a problem- dont read it then.
to all those who read this,
im
sorry if we're not friends anymore &
im
sorry if we drifted.
lastly, im
sorry if our friendship doesnt come back.
sarah,
im
sorry we didnt meet much this week, i miss you.
syaiful,
im
sorry tonight was not what you wanted it to be.
goodnight